About four years ago, I had an idea. I made some sketches of it at the time, had some basic conversations with web development people – but my daughter was born right in there, I was in the middle of directing a few projects, and thought to myself that someone else would no doubt create what I had in mind any second.

Fast-forward to early 2010, and no one had fulfilled my idea. So I got to work. The idea was a website that solved a problem I had personally: How the hell do I keep track of everyone’s gigs? I know for me, or anyone who has any number of friends in the arts, we have the experience of losing track of whom is performing when, whose TV show guest appearance is when, whose music gig is when, whose play is closing what weekend, etc. I’d often thought to myself, “I wish I could just know automatically when So-and-So is performing.”  The Facebook Events module is not much help here, and not everyone enjoys using Facebook, which is a noisy web environment. All the various means of gig promotion, multiplied by having dozens of actor/musician/hyphenate friends – this equals a lot of static across social media / email / text / phone / snailmail channels and only the loudest or most insistent finally wins my attention. It was as if I could find out every stupid detail of my performer friends’ existences except that which was most important: When were they doing the thing to which they dedicated their lives, when were they performing – the very activity that drew us together in the first place? 

So I’ve created something called www.mygiginfo.com, and its purpose is to collect gig information for performing artists into a single online calendar, filtered for each user depending on who they want to know about.

The concept was to develop a site where gig information could be shared and compiled in a quiet environment without the social media noise. Hence the tag line for MyGigInfo: “All the Gig Info, None of the Noise.” The other conceptual pillar was that the performers would update the information themselves, and my calendar would automatically reflect the constant and ongoing updates to gig information across all my performer friends. The incentive is on the individual performers to ensure the information is up-to-date and accurate.

MGI will also, upon your opt-IN, send you a weekly email every Sunday night with the next week’s list of gigs. You choose who you support, whose gigs will appear in your calendar, whose gigs will be listed on the weekly email. That’s it. No one can contact you. There’s no person-to-person communication from within the site. No poking. No status updates. No politics. No sick pets. No video chat. No nothing. Just the Gig Info.

And it’s free. Check it out!

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From Death of a Lady’s Man:

Take the word “butterfly.” To use this word it is not necessary to make the voice weigh less than an ounce or equip it with small dusty wings. It is not necessary to invent a sunny day or a field of daffodils. It is not necessary to be in love, or to be in love with butterflies. The word butterfly is not a real butterfly. There is the word and there is the butterfly. If you confuse these two items people have the right to laugh at you. Do not make so much of the word. Are you trying to suggest that you love butterflies more perfectly than anyone else, or really understand their nature? The word butterfly is merely data. It is not an opportunity for you to hover, soar, befriend flowers, symbolize beauty and frailty, or in any way impersonate a butterfly. Do not act out words. Never act out words. Never try to leave the floor when you talk about flying. Never close your eyes and jerk your head to one side when you talk about death. Do not fix your burning eyes on me when you speak about love. If you want to impress me when you speak about love put your hand in your pocket or under your dress and play with yourself. If ambition and the hunger for applause have driven you to speak about love you should learn how to do it without disgracing yourself or the material.

What is the expression which the age demands? The age demands no expression whatever. We have seen photographs of bereaved Asian mothers. We are not interested in the agony of your fumbled organs. There is nothing you can show on your face that can match the horror of this time. Do not even try. You will only hold yourself up to the scorn of those who have felt things deeply. We have seen newsreels of humans in the extremities of pain and dislocation. Everyone knows you are eating well and are even being paid to stand up there. You are playing to people who have experienced a catastrophe. This should make you very quiet.  Speak the words, convey the data, step aside. Everyone knows you are in pain. You cannot tell the audience everything you know about love in every line of love you speak. Step aside and they will know what you know because you know it already. You have nothing to teach them. You are not more beautiful than they are. You are not wiser. Do not shout at them. Do not force a dry entry. That is bad sex. If you show the lines of your genitals, then deliver what you promise. And remember that people do not really want an acrobat in bed. What is our need? To be close to the natural man, to be close to the natural woman. Do not pretend that you are a beloved singer with a vast loyal audience which has followed the ups and downs of your life to this very moment. The bombs, flame-throwers, and all the shit have destroyed more than just the trees and villages. They have also destroyed the stage. Did you think that your profession would escape the general destruction? There is no more stage. There are no more footlights. You are among the people. Then be modest. Speak the words, convey the data, step aside. Be by yourself. Be in your own room. Do not put yourself on.

This is an interior landscape. It is inside. It is private. Respect the privacy of the material. These pieces were written in silence. The courage of the play is to speak them. The discipline of the play is not to violate them. Let the audience feel your love of privacy even though there is no privacy. Be good whores. The poem is not a slogan. It cannot advertise you. It cannot promote your reputation for sensitivity. You are not a stud. You are not a killer lady. All this junk about the gangsters of love. You are students of discipline. Do not act out the words. The words die when you act them out, they wither, and we are left with nothing but your ambition.

Speak the words with the exact precision with which you would check out a laundry list. Do not become emotional about the lace blouse. Do not get a hard-on when you say panties. Do not get all shivery just because of the towel. The sheets should not provoke a dreamy expression about the eyes. There is no need to weep into the handkerchief. The socks are not there to remind you of strange and distant voyages. It is just your laundry. It is just your clothes. Don’t peep through them. Just wear them.

The poem is nothing but information. It is the Constitution of the inner country. If you declaim it and blow it up with noble intentions then you are no better than the politicians whom you despise. You are just someone waving a flag and making the cheapest kind of appeal to a kind of emotional patriotism. Think of the words as science, not as art. They are a report. You are speaking before a meeting of the Explorers’ Club of the National Geographic Society. These people know all the risks of mountain climbing. They honour you by taking this for granted. If you rub their faces in it that is an insult to their hospitality. Tell them about the height of the mountain, the equipment you used, be specific about the surfaces and the time it took to scale it. Do not work the audience for gasps ans sighs. If you are worthy of gasps and sighs it will not be from your appreciation of the event but from theirs. It will be in the statistics and not the trembling of the voice or the cutting of the air with your hands. It will be in the data and the quiet organization of your presence.

Avoid the flourish. Do not be afraid to be weak. Do not be ashamed to be tired. You look good when you’re tired. You look like you could go on forever. Now come into my arms. You are the image of my beauty.

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A long-time student let it rip a couple weeks ago with a personal monologue about how lazy he is. He sure is lazy. Milton used to say he didn’t believe in “laziness,” and that being lazy was just another means of saying “lack of confront.” My take is whether you call it “laziness” or “lack of confront,” the guy is spending a lot of time on his couch at home reading the Game of Thrones novels, and that shit needs to change.

It was a terrific performance for the most part, and at one point he said the following, which was one of the clearest statements I’ve heard regarding a monstrous attitude problem common to actors and their career administration:

“I’m both a victim and I have an ego. Which means I feel I can’t do what I need to do, nor should I have to.”

WOW. Now that’s pretty damned brilliant. It’s also totally sick, but when you’re looking at a monster and how to defeat it, it’s handy to be able to describe it precisely. I share this because the Victim/Ego Monster exists to some degree in all of us, yet I had never heard it described so starkly. Beware.

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Milton would often quote (or more likely paraphrase)  Gurdjieff in saying “The first job of the teacher is to wake up the student, and the first job of the student is to realize they are asleep.” I’ve been thinking about this during this summer. I’m sure most teachers experience to some degree the summer doldrums that occur between July 4 and Labor Day: attendance down, production down, energy down – that palpable sense of dispersion amongst the students. It takes a certain child-like imagination to persist as an artist, and I think that young part of us just wants the summer off to play. 

And listen, I don’t begrudge some travel, and summer is a good time to do it – getting out of Los Angeles every so often is definitely a good thing to do. But there is travel as reward for hard work done, and then there is just being asleep for 10 weeks or more, like some weird summer hibernation. 

This week I cancelled a class for the first time in my 10 years’ teaching at the BHP, because the level of scene production has been kind of sucking, and even when I threatened them last week with cancelling a class session, it didn’t change, so I was forced to be true to my word. I hated my Wednesday night off, hated it. (I hated it even more when I saw on Facebook someone trying to get students to watch “So You Think You Can Dance” in the gap where class was supposed to be.) 

So. “…To die, To sleep….” Shakespeare perhaps most famously linked sleep with death, but I’m sure he was far from the first. And in contemporary parlance, “asleep at the wheel” signifies going through the motions robotically without any real thought or care, with quite a lethal and literal subtext. Sleeping while driving is about the most dangerous thing you can do.

Yet I feel as if too many actors are sleeping and driving in their creative and professional lives. This isn’t strictly about scene production in class. But scene production in class is an indicator of an actor’s energy level. There are very few people who exhibit terrific energy in class and zero energy outside. And very few who are lethargic in class and are just kicking ass outside. In general, lethargy is lethargy and hard work is hard work. One of our more successful actors, who spent many years on a recent very famous TV series, returned to class three times a week for the better part of a year and knocked out a couple dozen scenes during that time, before, you guessed it – booking another series and he’s off to Vancouver for a few months. He was a hard worker before he booked the original series, too. I could repeat the same pattern for just about every break-out student the BHP has ever had – they are hard workers.

So when I have to face slap what is normally a terrific group to wake them up, I’m wondering where else actors are asleep this summer, or in general. Here are some symptoms of an actor’s sleepiness:

Snobbery: To me, snobbery is a form of being asleep. For the entirety of my 21 years at the BHP, I’ve heard veteran students bemoan that newer students aren’t quite with the program, or are mysteriously less talented than in the past. (Romanticizing the past - that could be an essay on its own.) Get over yourself. This kind of judgment is a form of sleep – you get to check out, secure in your superior abilities, it somehow justifies lack of energy, because energy is for those who don’t yet know what they’re doing as well as you do… Hah! 

Coasting: Sort of first cousin to snobbery. This is prevalent in actors who have been at it for a while, whether that means class or the broader career. A sense of “I’ve been doing this so long I don’t need to work hard anymore.” “I’ve got this.” “I know how to act – now it’s just the career to handle.” I’ve often talked in class how this attitude is unique to acting, because musicians, athletes, dancers, etc – they would laugh at the concept. Just because acting doesn’t place a specific physical / technical demand on you doesn’t mean you get a pass on consistent hard work on your craft. Blow it off at your peril. I’m writing this at 1:30am after about 3 hours at the piano, and next year will mark 40 damned years at the piano. 

I didn’t even know X was happening: My first year in LA, my brother was also here at the USC Film Scoring school. Jerry Goldsmith was speaking to that class, which I was sitting in on, and one of the students whined that “It seems like the business is all about who you know, and how do you beat that?” Goldsmith rolled his eyes and said, “Go fucking know someone.” I loved that line. Applicable to many areas. You’ll often hear actors who totally missed some activity / audition opportunity / admin idea / seeing  a good play, etc protest that “they didn’t even know X was happening.” That’s because you’re asleep. Imagine what else you don’t know is happening. So go fucking know something. Be aware. Wake. Up. 

Someone else will or should do it: Lack of responsibility. You observe something not ideal, something that needs fixing, something that needs reporting, a person could use a hand, your set is a little fucked up, your class is a little lethargic, and you move on, thinking to yourself, “Well, it’s someone else’s job to handle that.” Zzzzzzzzz.

When I’m paid I’ll wake up: Bullshit. Those who think they can look like shit, dress like shit, act like shit, mope around, coast along unawares, or otherwise not be on their game, but yet think that when money is on the line, a real audition, a meeting, a gig – they will suddenly snap to and become professional, are kidding themselves. Look at that last sentence – snap to… I just typed it and it works. Snap to. Wake up. Be a professional. Don’t kid yourself that you’ll be a professional  when you’re being paid. Frankly, the chances are that with that attitude, you simply won’t get to the point of being paid – or at least no where near as often as you would like. See earlier post: Opportunity Knocks But Doesn’t Leave A Note. 

I didn’t communicate because I assumed ______. This entire thing with the cancelled class was a big fuck-up of non-communication. The executives of the class didn’t communicate with each other. The students didn’t communicate with each other. No one communicated with me, and I sat there assuming it was all handled. And yet, we’re in the communication business – all this acting we want to do is just highly aesthetic communication, like music or painting or any of it. And yet… Zero. We stare into iPhones, we text, we “Facebook” as a verb, and yet… Zero. It’s actually all zero. Because we’re kind of asleep during all that. Meanwhile, important shit is happening right in front of us, or there are important people who need to be communicated to in this business – and you’re…. asleep. Because the people you need to meet can’t be just Facebooked or texted or “messaged.” It’s gonna take more than that. When in doubt, communicate. How many times a year do you bump into an old acquaintance and say “we should get together”? Now, what is the actual number of get togethers with old acquaintances? And those are the easy ones. You’re trying to get in communication with people in this business who don’t know you exist yet. Don’t be asleep.

“The business is dead right now.”  ….. So I can sleep. That’s the full sentence. You never hear “The business is dead right now” as a call to action. It’s not exactly material for the St. Crispin’s Day speech. It’s always a justification for sleep. Always. Never let the words leave your lips, or the lips of those around you. One of the characteristics you’ll notice if you study highly successful people is that they work pretty much around the clock for years on end regardless of what their particular business is doing. Google was born out of the tech bust after 2000 – all those out-of-work engineers… That’s what they came up with. 

Seeking inspiration instead of seeking to inspire: I’m just not inspired right now. How many times have you heard or said that one?  People think they want to be inspired (which immediately hands responsibility for that to other people), when actually it’s far more rewarding to inspire (which puts it in your hands). But the idea of “I’m just not inspired right now” is a common justification for…. sleep. Fuck being inspired. Get off your ass and inspire others – by definition it is a more powerful place to be. 

That’s all for now. I guess the irony is that to achieve the dream you have to be awake. That’s why Milton called it Dreams Into Action. So how about we kick ass between now and Labor Day, between now and Christmas, how about we just kick ass as a consistent way of life? 

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I’ve had occasion recently to read a few students’ Career Concepts, and figured I’d offer some thoughts on the matter. 

I think writing down, at any length, some specifics about what you’re looking to achieve in your career is a good thing. This is why Milton developed the idea and put it early on in Dreams Into Action. He alluded to the result of this exercise as certain kind of  ”Declaration of Independence,” and some write-ups that I have read have DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE written on the first page rather than CAREER CONCEPT. Okay. I don’t give a shit what the title is,  but I think it’s important to note that the actual Declaration of Independence marking the breaking off of the American colonies from the British was just over 1,300 words. A history-making, country-founding document was 1,300 words. While Milton encouraged writing down as many specifics as possible, he also used the words “lean, mean and concise,” and did so for a reason.

I’m getting a subtext when reading them that they have been created for someone else. Three of them had a very similar format, as if adhering to a template for how these things should look. There seems to be a significant effort to explain not only details about a possible acting career, but political and personal belief systems that are interwoven throughout, as if the actor is trying to communicate some innate truth about themselves, something that is probably clear to them when they look in a mirror, but harder to explain to an outside reader. Why all this effort? There is no need to explain your beliefs, politics, philosophy, or psychological inventory in a career concept. 

You can guess where I’m going: These suckers are too damned long. I’m seeing Career Concept documents that are 3000-4000 word, 15-page or longer manifestos that have as separate sections the following: Mission, Purposes, Postulates, Policies, Principles, Affirmations, Personal Assets & Liability breakdowns, Projects, Goals, Plans (broken down into bulleted lists of items under each branch of BHP teaching), Lists, and on and on and on. Now on the one hand this work is often very impressively brought together, it takes time, and it takes a certain confront to look at it all, and I applaud that. But I also worry that the results are possibly too unwieldy, complicated, redundant, circuitous, and beg a giant question after the dozens of hours being spent to create them: Now what?  

(One thought I had – what if the dozens of hours spent creating these manifestos had simply been spent getting in communication with industry professionals?)

Milton was very concerned with the Now What? question. In the 12 years that followed the publication of Dreams Into Action, which I edited and was fully guinea-pigged on, I was part of countless meetings between him and individual students, as well as witness to innumerable critiques where he might touch on Career Concept. And in each of those meetings and talks, he sought to break down what was usually a highly intellectual and ethereal morass of career ideas into a simple concept. (It would be a very Milton thing to do to have six people in front of him at a staff meeting at his house and go around dissecting the essence of each person in about two minutes – for all six. Many of these little gems could have been adopted as a career concept.) 

He often wanted a single sentence. He wanted something you could put on a post-it and affix to your bathroom mirror so that in the morning you woke up, saw this simple declaration, and it moved you to do something that day about your career. I remember one was simply, “NOW.” A single word, used to address that particular actor’s habitual procrastination about everything. I met recently with a student who was frustrated by his inability to get a regular job-job because he didn’t have the proper education / accreditation that employers look for. He’s ridiculously talented. I offered this: “Since I’m not qualified to do anything else, how about I actually try to get acting work?” We laughed about that, then wrote down, “It’s time.” A counter-notion to this actor’s idea that he had to “pay his dues” for a few more years before regular work would come his way, which I thought was bullshit.

Ultimately, the Career Concept exists to move you to action, not to get an “A” in Career Concept writing. If it doesn’t fire you up, it’s not a good concept. If it is bulky and can be used as a paperweight, it’s not a good concept. Milton used the analogy of buying a car – quite rightly pointing out that (practically) no one says, “I need a car. Just any car.” And through this analogy he’s trying to get actors to be more specific than, “I just want to work. You know – any work.” And by getting specific with the concept, hopefully it fires you up to do something about it, and target specific people who might line up with your concept of what you want to do. 

If you like BMWs, you go to a BMW dealership. If you like one-hour dramas, there are people who write, produce, direct and cast those shows. But no one I know who has ever wanted a car wrote a 15-page manifesto about it, beginning with, “I would like a car with four stunningly round wheels and stylish appearance that sails through traffic with the performance of a Porsche and the economy of a Prius, a car that inspires others to drive it, that inspires others to be as bad-ass and yet ecologically sensitive as my car, a car that resides both in the Hollywood Hills and is also driven to New York where it will have its own garage in a downtown pied-a-terre, where after it books one Broadway Show a year it will also have six TV guest-star appearances as well as being featured on Letterman…..” 

So to sum-up and not go on and on about this – try to apply my own point to myself… If you want to free-associate across every facet of your life, psychology, self-analysis, behaviors, etc ad infinitum to create a 15-page draft of a Career Concept – I’m all for it. It may well be beneficial to do so. Every script has as its first iteration a pretty shitty, overlong, overwrought, overwritten first draft. NOW WHAT? Get it elemental. Get it lean. What’s it about? Unlike a script, a career concept need not be something that communicates to others. No one else has to get it. No one else has to read it. No one else has to be entertained by it or moved by it. It frankly isn’t anyone’s damned business but your own.  There is no template, and no one should be offering one to you. The idea is that in the middle of an actual actor’s day – get up regretting something from last night, feel discouraged, avoid the breakdowns, cruise Facebook, go to lame job, rehearse scene, feel discouraged, go to commercial audition, feel discouraged,  surf the web, flinch on exercising, eat too much sugar, go to class – that somewhere in that day-to-day reality, you find 15 minutes, or one hour, or two hours, where this concept fucking gets you to do something about the career instead of wallow, avoid, or theorize about it.  

PS: I remember another student for whom the entire Career Concept concept was so infuriating, so frustrating, so crazy-making…  she was just bonkers on the entire topic, coming to tears in front of Milton about how it simply did not compute for her. Milton’s answer: “Forget it. Don’t do one. Forget I wrote about it.” He took her copy of Dreams Into Action, drew a bunch of lines over the entire chapter (in pencil), and handed it back to her – and both of them cracked up. It was the last she dealt with the topic, and they got on happily to other areas of career administration. So, as with all aspects of technique – it has to work for you, and if you really try and it doesn’t – let it go. There are plenty of successful people who probably never wrote one of these out. It’s a tool. You should try it as it may help, but it’s not on a tablet handed down from Moses. 

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