Costaritis

costaritis, n., a disease whereby normally intelligent, talented actors are suddenly reduced to a heap of blithering self-doubt over the inability to manifest the auditions for, and/or book, TV co-star roles.

Beware this dangerous and contagious disorder! Watch for these symptoms:

1) Secretly hoping for bad things to happen to your actor friends, who somehow, with magical effortlessness that eludes only you, get auditions for CSI: Boise.

2) Working for 10-12 hours to prepare fewer than 6 lines of mediocre TV dialogue – I will not be outworked for this role, you think, as you frantically pace back and forth into the wee hours, creating an extensive character biography and scintillating arc for your role. Thank god you blew off class tonight!

3) A sinking feeling as you drive 1.x hours to the audition in rush hour traffic… you secretly ban the thought from your head, Why am I doing this, exactly?

4) A further sinking feeling as you leave the audition that you came off no more distinctly than a can of soup on the shelf, and you ask yourself, Why the hell are they even auditioning people for this role? Doesn’t the director/writer/producer/DP have a friend they know who can do it?

5) Later that night after the audition: As you stare vacantly at a reality TV show,  you question your life, your choices as an actor, your choice to be an actor, your talent, your acting school, your agent, your manager, your family, your support system, your relationship, the efficacy of those casting workshops you’ve been attending so diligently…

What it the antidote for costaritis? Two tablets of belief and confidence, and a swig of context. I think part of the costaritic depression that affects so many comes from using so little of the relative wattage of your talent, or trying to apply the full wattage to a role that simply cannot stand the scrutiny. The adage is old and tried, and unfortunately true – go for the art of it all. Costar auditions should be comparatively unimportant little flakes of administration that come your way here and there, while you’re dreaming and scheming of far bigger fish to fry. Every time you get  that costar audition, prepare as much as necessary (could be 5 minutes or 50 – time doesn’t mean quality), go do your best for sure – be charming, confident, secure, and bold. Then leave. And go hit a museum, or watch a classic film, or read a good play, paint, make music, go dancing, or…. write a single page of material along the lines of a part you would want to play if they were writing them for you.

There is nothing so tragic as to watch terrific, talented, bright actors of all ages go into a full outbreak of costaritis. There is no known vaccine, but fortunately, it is easily cured!